Monday Motivational Moment

By Gregory Ferrett

Welcome to Monday

I ran out of moves on Candy Crush and was about to press the “try again?” button when I

What is the message you send to yourself each morning?

noticed the message had changed to “give up?”

Being a person who never “Gives up” I felt challenged and for the first time ever I was seriously tempted to pay money to continue the game. The makers of the game, by simply changing two words, had reached out and pushed my emotional red button. I had to work hard to fight the emotion to keep up my commitment and never pay for lives.

I found it really interesting how a simple message could influence my decision by affecting my emotions which in turn affected my choice.

Is it possible this simple change from a positive to negative message could make me more inclined to make a certain decision?

Negativity Bias

Being positive is essential for well-being and success. When you are in a positive state of mind you generate a wealth of healing biochemical compounds. (see article How do laughing, kissing and closing a sale differ?)

To maintain a positive attitude we need to be careful about the messages we give to ourselves. Negative messages, such as fear of failing, can be a powerful motivator but more often they serve as a discouragement and can be harmful for your self-esteem and perception of self-value.

Research published in 2008 demonstrated the effect positive messages have over negative ones. This research shows it is not about the essence of the message but about the wording. A simple difference, as the one between “Don’t eat candy or you’ll get fat” and “Eat fruit and be slim” can produce incredible results.

Psychologists refer to this as the negativity bias. Negative messages tend to have a greater and more lasting impact and are easier to recall over a positive message. We also pay more attention to negative images, negative words and messages.

Newspapers, talk back radio and television news tend to highlight negative stories – especially in their promotion of upcoming programs or articles. Journalists look for the ‘dirt’ as they know this brings in viewers.

Why do negative messages work?

Negative messages trigger strong emotional responses by flooding your brain with chemicals to drive action. This emotion is forcing you to pay attention and be prepared for action. In the case of the change of message with the words “Give Up?” at the end of a Candy Crush game the words triggered a chemical response in my brain and I was being prepared for action. By ignoring the message I felt bad and was more likely to take some action, in this case pay money, to continue to play.

Feeding your mind positive messages triggers the chemicals that maintain a positive outlook about life and can inspire you and get you ready for action. Positive messages never contain phrases such as “don’t” or verbs that are associated with negativity. Positive messages push you towards giving your best. Negative messages, on the other hand, can discourage you and increase your level of stress, instead of promoting motivation and hard work. (read this paragraph again and you may feel your brain flipping with each sentence!)

What messages are you sending to yourself and others?

The difference in meaning between “try again” and “give up” is not great. The difference in emotion, however, is significant. The wording of “give up” is associated with defeat and makes you think less about yourself. “Try again”, on the other hand, suggests persistence and strong will.

All decisions are influenced by emotion, and our emotions can be easily affected by something as simple as the words used.

We need to be careful about the words we choose when we send messages to ourselves and others. Positive thinking and positive words will increase your mood. More importantly, those around you want to do business with positive and inspiring people. Choosing the right message will inspire you and your team to go on and be the best you can be.

Today’s question and actions

There are many ways negativity creeps into your life. To overcome this negativity we need a constant stream of positive messages.

Here are some ideas.

• When you wake up each morning welcome the day with a “This is an awesome day” message.
• Celebrate each of your wins and embrace positive feelings. Replay them in your mind to make sure you have them planted and rooted ready to grow.
• Link a negative to a positive. When I am running I often feel like giving up, however, I have a strategy of linking the positive feeling I have at the end of the run and the extra creativity I get throughout the day as a result of the run – and all of a sudden I feel better!
• Use sentences that start with “I can …” and “I will …”

Feeding your mind positive messages balances out the negativity the world throws at you. Take time to check the messages you are allowing to feed your mind.

Have a great week!

By Gregory Ferrett

Welcome to Monday

My father in law has the well earned nickname of ‘Lazarus’.

Last Friday we were clearly told by his doctor he was unlikely to survive the night. Last night (Sunday) he was sitting up in bed enjoying a meal and laughing with us all.

What is it that allows some people to move on from even the most challenging situations and achieve success?

I watched the TED talk ‘The Happiness Advantage’ by Shawn Achor during the week. In his studies he and his team have discovered a direct link from happiness to success. People who are happy inevitably achieve success. Organisations where there is a positive and happy environment find business improves and margins increase. Here is the link to the talk : The Happiness Advantage

Happiness, however, is not something which can be externally created. It is all about the interpretation of the experience of life.

Can actions create happiness?

I was in the Victorian Government treasuring building and held the door open for a small group of women in an attempt to be polite. I was unprepared for the acrimonious response and sharp language from this group who indicated they did not need a man to open doors for them.

I hold open the door for anyone, and it is interesting to note the varying responses from men and women. The response of this group was as a result of seeing my action though a different lens.

It was not the action of holding the door open which caused the response. Even though my action is exactly the same everyone interprets my actions differently and their response is different. It is the interpretation of the action by the individual which creates the response.

No matter what I do to be kind, the response and interpretation to this action is always in the mind of the recipient. Happiness is a decision and it is people who make happy decisions who are successful.

In business and sales creating a positive and happy environment is a vital ingredient. There can be a lot of negative external stimuli which is easy to translate as being ‘I am not interested’. Discovering positive and exciting ways to view the world is probably our most important skill.

My father in law, along with the family, took the diagnosis given by the doctor and created a positive and happy environment. In all the happiness his body seemed to forget he was sick and within a few hours was well on the way to balance. While his cancer is unlikely to leave, his attitude of happiness creates new opportunities for life.

Today’s question and actions

This week try these actions to help increase your level of happiness;

• When you have a few minutes take a short walk and look for things you may have not seen before
• Take a few minutes at the end of the day to journal, or re-live one positive thing you experienced during the day
• Take time to send an email or call someone just to say ‘thank you’ with no expectation of a response.

You will be surprised how much happier you feel. Even more important, how much better you perform as an individual.

Have a great week!

By Gregory Ferrett

Welcome to Monday

Quite by accident my wife started to listen to Brian Tracy’s ‘Psychology of Selling’ CD set I left in the car. She became intrigued by the idea of talking yourself into a positive emotional state by repeating mantras like ‘I like myself’ over and over and every so often will text me in the morning with messages like ‘I Like Myself’ to help me start the day with a positive attitude.

A simple mantra like ‘I like myself’ repeated over and over has the surprising ability to change the way I feel about myself. I have a number of these sayings I use on a regular basis to remind me about who I am and the way I interact with others.

Actors, politicians, sales people, indeed anyone whose success depends on their ability to confidently interact with others, rely on their ability to read another person’s body language and emotion and reflect their character using that body language or emotion.

When actors win Oscars most often you will hear people say things like “They really caught the essence of the character”. Heath Ledger, who played The Joker in The Dark Knight, invested a lot of time understanding  the psychology of the character. His father, in the documentary Too Young To Die, revealed Heath Ledger kept a diary covering many of the aspects of what the character would be like.  In the end it seems the character overtook him and he died of a drug overdose – with much speculation around his drug dependency on his trying sleep problems following his playing this character.

Actors who do not make the effort to get the essence of a character end up in B grade movies. Their lack of effort is obvious with their audience groaning as they hear lines being said in an unconvincing manner.

To fake genuine interest in business and sales clients is a deadly sin. Like a B grade actor your client will see straight through you. We need to be like great actors; we need to live our daily lives totally immersed in the desire to care for our customers at the same time as keeping our minds focused on closing a sale.

Fake or real smile?

Here is a GREAT test you can take to test whether someone is giving you a genuine or fake  smile.  It’s located at;

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/smiles/index.shtml

Most people are surprisingly bad at spotting fake smiles. One possible explanation for this is that it may be easier for people to get along if they don’t always know what others are really feeling.

Although fake smiles often look very similar to genuine smiles, they are actually slightly different, because they are brought about by different muscles, which are controlled by different parts of the brain.

Fake smiles can be performed at will, because the brain signals that create them come from the conscious part of the brain and prompt the zygomaticus major muscles in the cheeks to contract. These are the muscles that pull the corners of the mouth outwards.
Genuine smiles, on the other hand, are generated by the unconscious brain, so are automatic. When people feel pleasure, signals pass through the part of the brain that processes emotion. As well as making the mouth muscles move, the muscles that raise the cheeks – the orbicularis oculi and the pars orbitalis – also contract, making the eyes crease up, and the eyebrows dip slightly.

The more you can genuinely be interested in people the better you will feel and the better the people you deal with will feel. Being genuine with people builds relationships, builds sales and businesses.

Today’s question and actions

This week, as you meet up with people, try these actions;

• Before you meet a person say to yourself ‘I like myself’ three or four times
• Follow this by saying ‘I like this person’ three or four times
• Notice two or three things you can genuinely like about them and engage with them in a sincere discussion

You will be surprised how much simpler it is to move to business discussion by being sincerely interested in them as a person. Even more, you will become a better person as you learn more about them as well.

Have a great week!

Reprint permission

Permission is granted to reprint this article with the condition it is republished unedited and in full with full attribution to the author and the authors bio. Please provide a link to the reprint to the following email; mailto:greg.ferrett@mondaymotivationalmoment.com

By Gregory Ferrett

Welcome to Monday

I came home from work and opened my front door. The first thing I noticed as I came in the front door was a trail of bright pink post-it note arrows on the floor my granddaughter had placed.

What struck me was the feeling of compulsion I had to follow the path of arrows to their conclusion, which I did. She had placed the arrows on the floor for Granny (Great Grandma) who was coming to visit in a few days so she would know where she had left a card for her. The path of arrows went from the front door of the house right up the stairs to the guest room, across the bed and pointed to the pillow where there was a letter waiting for Granny.

I observed, over the next few days, as others came in, every person who came in the front door asked “Where do the arrows lead?” and many followed the arrows without even thinking. Of course, when Granny finally arrived a few days later her first question was “Where do these lead?”.

Signs are valuable  and tell us who we are

Life is full of signs. There are obvious signs like the ones we see on the roadside – “One Way” or “Stop”. Others help us to know where we are like street sign names and signs pointing out directions to go to get to a destination. During the 2nd world war in the south of England all the road signs were either removed or changed for misdirection in case the country was invaded. Without signs we can be confused and get lost.

Limiting Signs

In life, like on the roadside, there are signs. They are just not so obvious. Mostly these signs are placed by others. “This is the way to go” or “You are not good strong enough”. Some of these signs are well intentioned, however, can place serious limitations on our ability to succeed.

Making up a new sign

One of my favourite Carlton and United advertisements (for Beer) a couple of years ago featured a parade of men divided into categories. At the head of each category there was a sign and it seemed obvious the category each person should be in. One category was labelled “Men punching above their weight”. In this category there were men who were overweight and obviously not looking after themselves. On their arms were super model girlfriends / wives.

This made me think “Are they really punching above their weight? Or do they have a different self image to the one others may have of them?”

I started a sales job and my sales manager said “Greg, if you are good you will typically sell one system a day or perhaps four a week”. This became my sign. When I achieved that I was happy.

I asked myself a simple question “Why couldn’t I sell two a day or ten a week?” I set that as my new sign and set a new company record – consistently.

Like the feeling I had when I first saw the arrows my granddaughter put on the floor, every sign we have on our road in life places a limit on what we can do.

It is easy to see the signs on the road. By listening to what others say we create our own self limiting signs. Life is full of people who are happy to tell you what you can’t do, why you should not do or try something. Each time we listen we create another sign. Eventually there are so many signs we can get paralysed with the fear of disobedience.

Today’s question and actions

What signs are in your life? Are they real or imagined? Did you put the signs there yourself? Or were they put there by someone else? How would your life change if you placed new signs on the road of life?

• ‘My weight is normally 80kg’ instead of ‘I have a big body’
• ‘I sit six appointments a day’ instead of ‘four appointments is what the company requires‘

Have a great week!

Reprint permission

Permission is granted to reprint this article with the condition it is republished unedited and in full with full attribution to the author and the authors bio. Please provide a link to the reprint to the following email; mailto:greg.ferrett@mondaymotivationalmoment.com